Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Gah! I've been working so hard on it!
Hmm... I think that was Sunday night; there was one time when I had an all-nighter (I'm obsessed with making this website! O.O). And then most of the moments I'm on the computer, I'm doing my website. Although there are other moments when my brother persuades me to play Half-Life. o.O
I laugh at my brother - he can get so cute! XD Well, he talked to Dikko about Half-Life, and I think there was a few parts where he wasn't listening at all. o.O And since (according to him) Dikko's the greatest at Half-Life (Dikko, may isa ka pang fan dito! XD) Dikko's word about the game is LAW. It seems that way. My brother won't even touch his game until he recalls or gets word from Dikko about it! It's absolutely cute. And kind of stupid at the same time. o.O I continued his game a bit, and I find myself pretty okay at it. XD
Hmm... what else?
Well, the retreat was okay. I went on a retreat with my sister and my mom last Friday night until Saturday afternoon. It was cool, although the retreat mainly focused on love. Yes, it was all about love. And what made it worse? My mind was off, attempting to meet with Dikko. Ahahaha. Okay, in normal un-Justine words: my mind was thinking about Dikko. Haha. I even have a journal for him. It's not quite filled, though. >_<
Anyway, the priest at the retreat discussed about the different kinds of love: eros, the human love and agape, the divine love. The talks were about how eros and agape were different, and how God is related to love and how we are related to Him and love. The works. XD
At the end of the retreat, I asked my mom if my love for Dikko was eros or agape. She said... (drumroll, please! XD)
...Aga. o.o ('Kala n'yo maganda sagot ko?! D: )
I guess she figures it's not really eros (the love focusing more on infatuation and lust), but only a little bit of agape (love conditioned by sacrifice and renunciation, disciplined and purified XD).
Well, better get back to my... er, "masterpiece". XD Ciao! XD
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Sunday, March 26, 2006
A few minutes ago, I was coughing like hell. And now I'm wheezing. Ahahahaha. But it's not as bad any more, so on I go! XD
What frightens me more is that I've got these pinkish-to-reddish scratch-like marks (although they're not scratches) on my left arm, and I don't remember touching that arm at all. Or coming in contact with anything that might cause that. *shudders*
Anyway, I was talking to Kuya Iñigo earlier this evening. He says accountancy at DSLU is SO DAMN HARD. o.o According to him, Kuya Jhudiel and Kuya Iñigo have a mutual friend who is being eaten up by accountancy. o.o At DSLU. o.o And he told me that when I said that Dikko was taking up accountancy at DSLU. o.o The professors there aren't satisfied with a passing grade either, among other things that Kuya Iñigo said. ><><
OMG. About 10 minutes, and the marks are still on my arm. Wheezing is gone, but I can only breathe through one nostril now. o.o
Oh... where is Dikko when I want/need him as comfort? T_T
Oh well, enough selfishness. XD Let me try to make this post longer, since Pacholo said my posts were short. But how do I do that? Hmm...
Well, I wouldn't call this day productive. In the morning, I woke up to the sound of my brothers playing Half-Life (grabe, umagang umaga Half-Life pa rin! ><). I got up, and my family and I ate breakfast. Later on, the effect of sleeping late (from giving Adrienne a bunch of questions about... her love interest) came upon me. I slept most of the morning away on my sister's bed, wahahahaha. My mom woke me up at about 11 something, and I dragged my sleepy butt into the bathroom to take a bath. It was followed by lunch (by myself T_T), and then I used my mom's laptop for a short while. Then my mom brought me to Festival Mall to look for a dress for this year's 4th Year Graduation. She took a lot of articles of clothing for me to try on. Now, I'm stuck with wearing a PINK top, a black skirt and black HIGH heels (okay, so they're not all too high. But I still feel like tripping whenever I try them on. o.o;;;). In the evening, we went to attend mass at the school chapel. Afterwards, I made the computer my domain, and here I am! XD
So that basically sums up my day... aside from the fact that most of the time Dikko was on my mind. That's pretty much my day for today. XD
Now, getting back to what I was working on... Ladidadida~...
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Friday, March 24, 2006
This week's been fun - full of bonding time with my family. Surprisingly, none of that was planned. Anyway, more details when I get home. I'm only in Netopia. o.o
More details when I'm home, too, about today. I cried, damn it! Wahahaha. XD
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I have no idea what to write right now. Haha. As people may have noticed, this blog is full of my thoughts and feelings, and not really focusing on what I've done that day and stuff. Oh well.
Sometimes... I really just can't tell anyone how I feel, not even pieces of paper or blogs or anything... oh well. XD
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Argh... I already gave my dad Dikko's letter asking for permission for GradBall.. Well, he's taken and read it, but he hasn't come to talk to me about it.. Is that a good sign?! T_T
How do I know??? TT_TT *sob, sob*
Oh well. Things will go well. ...I think that's one of my mottos now. o.O
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Monday, March 20, 2006
To Dikko Rafael Bautista:I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
I'm sorry, I can't help posting it.
-> 23:19, 20 March 2006
Dad just came home.
And it was weird.
Because nearly just as he saw me, he gave me a kiss on my head and then told me he loved me.
And that is not something he does everyday. Weird.
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
...or, one of the greatest. Or just plainly a good one.
Bakit? Wahahahaha. Next time ko na lang sasabihin, 'pag na-trip-an ko. Wahahahaha.
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Argh. I haven't been able to connect my DSL. Here I am, stuck with dial-up. Which is sooooo annoying.
Scrap the plan on the party - obviously I'm still at home, typing this. I really wanted to go, but I wasn't able to ask for permission. Plus I'm stuck making this eff'n Biology presentation. It's just nice that while school's out, I still have something to submit! Argh. Honestly, text censored to be made fit for public viewing. Honestly.
Frustration #3: it is so damn hard to go on working when all I'm thinking (and worrying) about is Dikko. And I haven't heard from him for about 2 days and a few hours. I'm worrying because I tried sending him a message through someone else (and God bless the cellphones, the networks, and Kuya Tiu if it was sent) but he hasn't replied. Scrap text - take two. Kuya Tiu didn't receive the message.
Another thing: I'm stuck here at home, surrounded by food! I am sooooo going to get fat this summer. Unless I get my butt off this computer chair (or from the couch in front of the TV or my entire body from the bed).
Argh.
It is so nice to get that all off my chest. Seriously. I love this blog.
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Sunday, March 19, 2006
OMG. Naiyak na naman ako. Tapos ngayon, feeling ko maiiyak na naman ako. I keep playing tracks that remind me of him, and even if I wander off to different songs nilalapitan naman ako ng ibang mga kanta at naaalala ko siya uli. And then I feel like crying.
Shet. Siguro ibubuhos ko na muna ngayon, habang walang nanonood.
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Saturday, March 18, 2006
HAAAH!!! Trying to find something out from dad takes a lot! And I'm not even half-way through!
Just a few minutes ago while dad took over the computer to play Spider Solitaire, I was sitting beside him (waiting to get back the turn he took from me T_T). I was deciding whether or not to ask him questions about Dikko, particularly why dad didn't like him. It came up into my mind dinnertime, and I prayed to God to give me a chance tonight to discuss those issues. And the time did come.
That was right after dinner as I was using the computer to look for a sweet blog skin. He came up here and told me to "get the hell out of here"... in a playful voice. Having the thought of asking him on my mind, I stayed beside him. I kept glancing around to see if it would be safe to do what I was thinking. I was also praying and hoping for another sign, I guess.
And again, it did come. I had set a reminder earlier this morning about asking him, and it rang JUST as I was thinking of leaving him and not taking the chance.
Even if I took the chance, it was oh-so-HARD!!! It was like... OMGWTHBRBBBLTCCICWTFROFLMAOOLUSAFTW!!!
...er, skipping the craziness... it was so hard. I was stuck at the same question: "Why don't you like him?" Other questions were similar to the previous one. But all he answered was that he didn't like Dikko. And that was it; no reason why he didn't like Dikko. I kept pressing that there was a reason for everything, though. And he gave me the same answer.
Then I decided to hop on another train. I asked him why he let me stay with Dikko even though he didn't like him. He said he didn't, and he isn't. He also told me to ask my mom 'bout it. (I didn't want to press on this matter, with a fear that he might make it up in his mind to break us up ><)
I asked him what he would reply if Dikko asked his permission to take me out on a date or something. He said, flat-out, "No." Then I went back on asking him the first questions.
It is so hard to break him down! T_T
But I will get to the end!
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Haaay... ...damn. I feel like sleeping, and yet I feel like crying. What is happening to me?! Argh... I can't think all too straight... Haaay... I'd think this one out and post my thoughts, but... they might just make me cry, and I don't want anyone to see me crying... Argh. Maybe I should go to the Section 18 reunion, at least to keep my mind preoccupied for even a while... it might be fun for me, since I like text censored to be made fit for public viewing. Haaay... Argh... It's nine in the morning, love... and I miss you...
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Friday, March 17, 2006
Whee! Ang saya! Wala nang pasok! Last day na namin ngayon, and a lot of people were mushy. I hate mushiness. Well, at least for these past few weeks. I am kind of glad not to see them for quite a long time. Tapos na ang mga tests! Wahoo! Kaso nagka-85% ako sa English final exam ko, baka malaki ang hatak sa grade ko... please Lord, 'wag po maging line of 80%... mamamatay ako sa consequence... ...pero 'yung ibang tests, I think madali naman sila. XD ...sana wala akong line of 80%. T_T Kanina naman noong katabi ko si Dikko at tinitignan ko siya... ewan ko ba kung bakit pero naramdaman ko na maiiyak ako. Hindi talaga ako sigurado kung bakit... Haaay...
hiD beHiND a RaiNBoW aT
Justine Patricia Carpio (|)
San Beda College Alabang (|)
litedorange@yahoo.com (|)
dikko.numbah1.fan4ever@gmail.com (|)
I am a 15-year old girl, born the 7th day of the 2nd month of the year 1991. (|)
I am a trained perfectionist. My dad is my head mentor, and my mother supports him in my training to achieve perfection in most anything. (|)
I believe in perfection. (|)
I believe perfection is but an illusion. (|)
I have observed that to achieve perfection, one has to create a believable illusion. (|)
Artists of the canvas and the paper, in reality, just makes dots, lines and strokes... at the same time, the illusion of beauty on paper is created; thus, perfection. (|)
Artists of the body are only keeping their bodies motile... and if done well, the illusion of beauty and grace is shown; thus, perfection in that art. (|)
Artists in the field of music are, in actuality, just pressing some keys, strumming some strings, hitting some instruments... while doing so, an illusion is formed within the mind of the listener; a picture of perfection. (|)
Artists with their words put together a jumble of thoughts... combining into one masterpiece a tale filled with imagination, emotion and elegance; a story of perfection. (|)
Artists on the stage may be the best illusionists of all... to make cardboard appear like gold, water seem like tears, pain feel like happiness is their illusion, their craft; their work of perfection. (|)
I have also observed... there is no such thing as a perfect love. (|)
By man's often definition, a perfect love is one that is filled with happiness, sweetness, and pure joy... always, most likely with God. (|)
Love between humans can never be a 'perfect love'. (|)
...because the most beautiful kind of love requires one to experience one form of pain and suffering... (|)
...may it be love of a parent, love of a sibling, or love of a lover... (|)
Pain and suffering are present with love and true happiness... (|)
One just has to endure the more negative times to reach to the greener fields on the other side. <3 (|)